Simulation

“How many days of funding do I have left?”, I asked.

“Well your thesis has been accepted and you have already been given a Ph.D. degree. So the college is willing to support you for about three more months at least.”

“Damn It! I would have never expected such a toxic species to last so long. Is there no way I could wrap up my work without landing in prison?”

“No I don’t think so. It’s a bit harsh but necessary. You’re going to have to fund the experiment with your own earnings now. I did advise you not to dabble in such experiments though.”

“Sir, but why is this law even in place?”

“Ever since a species in another simulation experiment conducted somewhere across the globe had developed enough to run their own simulation experiment, some blokes somewhere thought they actually had sentience, life even. They had as much a right to life as we did. Which meant a person could not stop such a simlation until all life had terminated.

Now depending on the laws of physics in that universe, this could take any time from months to years.”

There was nothing I could do. The job prospects for a universe simulation graduate were bleak especially with the negative publicity surrounding the research field because of the several casual genocides that were caused. Students would start simulations with random laws of physics, see which ones led to life, publish papers and then terminate them. I was one of the last students to take this line.

All that changed when some simulated species began their own simulations. What if we were a simulation ourselves? Would we want the same fate on us? Hence, we could not stop a simulation without all life terminating of it’s own accord.

I had to hire a talented hacker to bring down our systems from outside the university and delete all data. It was criminal. It was genocide. But at least he could claim he did not know of the simulation within the system. At least he wouldn’t get the death penalty. And I won’t be there to hear their last cries.

I’m not sure I want to play God anymore.

On My Biggest Fear :- Being just an organic machine.

There's this nifty little Facebook application that's called "How well do you know me?". Essentially, it allows you to create a quiz that has questions about you which you feel that only people who "really know you" would know. You send it to your friends and they take the quiz and then you get the results.

So I created one of these quizzes and not surprisingly, not many people scored well on it(something I'll elaborate in a future post). One of those questions was "What is my biggest fear?" Now while most people had thought it would be to go shopping with females(note to self:- a future post here warning the inexperienced on why one should never do that). But no. The thing that I'm really afraid of is "Being just an organic machine." So this post is an attempt to explain it.

Have you ever had a sleepless night where you were afraid to fall asleep? Afraid that you'd never wake up? That's happened to me sometimes. Especially when I start thinking on what exactly does it mean to "sleep". My personal experience about sleeping is that I tend to fall on my bed and then the next thing I remember is that I'm waking up with the sun shining on my eyes. And this happens all the time. Without exception. Except maybe for some dreams which are vivid or energetic enough that I have some amount of conscious awake at that point of time.

That set me thinking. When I'm sleeping, the only time I'm aware of anything, is when I'm not in deep sleep but in some sort of dream. Thus, essentially when a person sleeps, the brain stops functioning. Every functionality of your brain, in fact of your body is turned off. When some parts of your body do get "switched on" (by mistake or by intent), what you get is yourself rolling around to get more comfortable or dreams.
Scientists with their fancy tools and instruments have attempted to map the brain activity during various times. What they seem to be saying is that the brain is not inactive during sleep but it's just less active. Thus, our ability to think is one of the first ones to go when we sleep to give preference to life sustaining ones like heart-beats and breathing.

So the whole point of my argument is that your ability to think is greatly reduced when you're brain is resting. What happens to it after death? Death is when your brain will get switched off completely. For real. What would it be like? Will I go into the promised "heaven"/"hell"(this suggests another future post on why I'm agnostic) with all my memories and my ability to think? What is it like to "not think"?

I believe one thing is pretty clear. On dying, you stop thinking in the sense that there are no more electrical signals flowing through your brain. It's similar to sleep, only wayyyyy more intense. Here, you really can't think, feel, see, hear, taste. Nothing. For real. Ever tried to imagine that? Try imagining that you're asleep. It's simpler.

But seriously, that's what I'm really afraid of. That at the end of the day, I'm just an organic being. My thoughts are electrical currents flowing in appropriate sections of my brain. Looking at myself the way an alien(who need not even be organic) who has never seen humans before would, I see a bunch of atoms desperately trying to stick together. All to end up being reused in other items even before I "die"(the typical theseus ship paradox).

So that's what I'm afraid of. (That's also the main reason why I'm agnostic.... I'll post on that too soon. For anyone whose going to come to me with explanations saying I have a "soul", "god" will "help" me etc etc please wait for that post. Read that one first before commenting. A bit of patience. Will post again on this within a few days.)

CSEA Trek

The whole CSE department went for a trek yesterday to Panighat. It's an awesome place and I had many revelations during the climb and the descent.

Firstly, our dep rocks. No kidding. Secondly some guys in it totally suck. Like there was this one guy I saw who throws trash on the ground even though there is a trash can right in sight. Are we really the most intelligent people of our age in this huge country called India? Or are we just over-rated?

I have seriously begun to doubt the fact that we are supposed to be brilliant. I deny this completely. Looking at the number of people in IITB who lack the basic intelligence to know that trash must be thrown in trash cans,... I really dont think so.

Also as a side note, this post was written in a fit of great anger and so its both small and quite disconnected. Hope it helps.

On End of EndSems.

It was the moment I had been waiting for. That cherished instant when I would be free at least for the next one month. Free from all bondages. Free to be home... that place I hadnt visited for soooo long.

But naaah. When it actually happened it didn seem all that great. Actually I thought I was happy. Just didn realise the real emotions hiding beneath the surface. I didn even suspect it till it was actually time to pack. That's when I realised. I was in love. Hopelessly. I never realised it. I never thought it would happen to me. But yeah. I guess it always happens to he best of them. Sometime or the other you just have to fall in love. Its unusual. You dont realise it happening. And then suddenly it strikes you as though with a huge fist.

I was in love. With my life. @IITB. Its the first time I felt really independent. Its made me who I am. Its the first time I met someone I could talk to without having that person shoo me away for saying some nonsensical gibberish. The first time I realised life was more fun and less boring studies.

No wonder I didn want to go away. I cant believe four months are already over and there are just 7 more sems to go. Im already dreading the end of the road. Kinda weird. The first day I came here, I didn want to leave my mom. I didn want to go away.

Today, I stil dont want to leave. I still dont want to go away.

Wonder if my sis's felt the same when they passed out??? Ill find out and tell in about 3.5 years.

On Endsems.

Yup its that time of the semester when an average IITian actually opens his books to study. Since I have not posted in a long time I think I can safely assume thatI can type anything here without any fear of any repercussions.

The truth is that there are about seven days left for our feared endsems and I am apparently wasting my time here writing blogs. The second truth is that even as I speak all the freshies are opening their books for the first time afterthe quizzes (or running to the xerox shops) and getting shocked at the amount of work facing them. So maybe I am not wasting time after all. After all I find blogging a rather relaxing activity and so since I have recievced the same shock yesterday night I need something to cool my nerves.

Ya know guys when I came to IIT I was under the impression that I would be studying over here. Apparently, I was wrong. Now I know the truth about the place here. And anyone who still thinks that IITians are book crazed nerds are really stupid to believe that. I mean honestly when I compare IITB to a college like COEP i have noticed that the buggers there study infinitely more than the buggers here. Weird? Maybe not.

Neways I dont think I'll be posting till my end-sems are over till the 25th of november Ciao.

The Prince and the Pauper

This post is about ME. So I guess you cant expect a very good job of it.

Last time I went to Pune I felt like I really connected with at least the title of this story. Ive never really realised what it means to become a pauper from a prince. Truly I empathise with that fellow.

I was actually proud of the gang of friends that I had in Pune. An old boy's meet I'd thought. The last time I was here I was kinda the lord there(well not exactly lord but you get the picture. I hope!). This time around I realised that people are just caught up in their daily routines. Noone bothers a lot. Its like I saw my "empire" crumbling around me. Not that I wasnt warned. But its still a pain when you realise it.

Guess I now know what it feels like. Its like a feeling of immense "LOSS" yet you are only so close to comprehending the magnitude of it. Only till you experience it.


Why is this post sooooo philosophical?? Dunno. Guess Im just feeling so. Why am I speaking so obscurely? Cuz I just am that way when I get philosophical. Maybe its the impending endsems.

P.S.:- If anybody can make any sense of what I said please inform. Because even I cant make any sense of it. :'( . I'll give you a treat if so.
Hint:-Its not about my friends. Surprised?? Maybe you just dont know me well enough then to guess what Im trying to say. Let alone feel the LOSS.

P.S.:- Keep watching this space for the answer that will be revealed in due course of time.

On Free Time

On wednesday I finally experienced that euphoristic feeling that I just dont seem to get at IIT. Believe it or not guys I had "Free Time". Yup, time that I could spend in any way that I wanted without worrying about anything. Unfortunately I spent it worrying about how I looked carrying a cooker in one hand, a big Kadai in the other and a lot of mithai boxes somewhere in between(wish it was my mouth but then again Id get sick) at the International Airport.

What the heck was I doing with all that? Was I planning, in desperation due to the heat, to camp out at the airport in that nice air conditioned visitors lounge? No! Was I actually planning to force my way into the aircraft by cooking something? (somehow I vaguely recollect people running away when I started cooking once when I was about twelve. I never realised why they were running till it dawned upon me with a "POP". From then on I vowed to "cook" popcorn with the lid closed only)

Well let me tell all the bamboozled passengers and their "see-offers" what I was doing. I was actually supposed to be seeing off my mom who was off to the US to visit my sister. Now they(person or persons unknown) felt the need to carry a kadai and a pressure cooker all the way to the US the idea being that at the altutude at which the plane flies there is a huge danger from solar radiation. Thus, the huge kadai and cooker would absorb these radiations by the eddy current effect thereby protecting the aircraft.

The authorities seemed to think otherwise however and to my consternation I was forced upon the rather "shady" task of carrying the cooker and kadai outside. Thankfully the security guys did not think of me as a threat(after all not many bullets can penetrate a kadai). Their eyes were sympathetic to say the least. Thank God for that.